WARNING: Serious Venting Ahead

If you've ever been privy to one of my venting sessions before - either in person or in writing - then by all means continue reading. If not, then you might just want to hang back and wait for the next fluff post about ANTM or Guitar Hero.

*****

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

I fucking hate you. I hate that you're fine, despite you saying you're not. I hate that I'm not okay yet. I hate that I randomly start crying while doing the most meaningless things. I hate that you sat in the fucking lobby and did your God damn physics homework while I had to be in that tiny room with a stranger holding my hands while I bawled my fucking eyes out and begged her to make it stop. I hate everything about you. I hate that the only nice thing you've ever done for me is open the fucking car door afterward. How could you even ask me how I was feeling? How the fuck did you think I was doing? You're smarter than that, so fucking act like it. I hate that you know exactly what you're supposed to say, but it doesn't really matter because there has never been a single moment of follow through since. I hate that you come out fine either way, because one way or another this was not going to effect the rest of your life. I hate that I believed you when you said you'd be there no matter what I decided. I hate that you're a coward and a liar. I hate that you try to act like school was always more important. Sorry to say, but in this case it wasn't. I hate that no matter what, you get to go on like nothing ever happened and no one will ever know. Well I've got some news for you: people know. People know, because you weren't there when I needed to talk about everything that was going on inside my head. People we both are acquainted with. If you don't like it, then too fucking bad. Maybe you should have been a man in the first place and followed through on your word.